Self Care Vs Community Care

A lot of discussion going around lately around the necessity of Community Care and how we’ve realised just how interconnected we all are - through our breath- and our basic human needs that we are all afflicted with; mainly being loved, fed and nourished. Even the word Community invokes a strange sense of togetherness, solidarity and homeliness. Knowing that we are part of something greater than our small selves, is what community is all about. One can be part of many communities at once - like culture, social group, sports or creative community, all based around shared values.

On the flip side there’s the Self-Care movement, search the hashtag #selfcare on any social media site and you see a proliferation of people - mainly women - soaking in bathtubs, burning candles or smudging sage while meditating in a dimly lit room, or getting a pedicure /manicure.

What about the single mama who rarely has time to even enjoy a shower, let alone book in for a pedicure. Is she denying herself self care? What if she is part of a small community of people who do care for her in ways that don’t look anything like the hashtag brings up? Does self-care exist in solitude or in connection with your village?

Caring for the self CAN look like this, but no man ( or woman) is an island, so I see these small somewhat trivial acts of self care as just that, an act. As when they are separate, hyper- individualised and disconnected acts they aren’t sustainable and ultimately don’t contribute to the greater good.

The Greater Good -which Covid gave us a newfound sense of - however distorted that was - that my well-being and health is tied in up with your health and well-being, whether we know each other or not..

Community Care is seeing the self and other through a wider lens, feeling and knowing that when we have shared values - as a community or society we can lift each other up, making the load lighter for those who struggle alone, like the single mama mentioned along with many others who are struggling.

Community care also releases the burden of compassion from being on the shoulders of a single individual. It allows those in community to recognise and leverage their privilege to be there for another in various ways, through various means.

An extension of that is through Resources, some of us are way more resourced than others, not just with physical stuff, but with time, energy and money. Huge resources that we don’t all ‘have’ equally. Sharing suddenly and thankfully become a thing during Covid and I’m glad to see has caused more and more opening of places like The libray of things and Timebanks. Which South London and Lewisham in particular are renown for.

Community Care allows us to drop the competition as the two cant exist together. You cant be in competition with your neighbour or friends and at the same time be trying to build community which is based on co-operation, collaboration and relationality.

Self-Care can be great, though not when it’s hyper individualised, with the focus on Self alone, as if we are supposed to be operating separated from other beings, rather than the opposite.

I know personally that I can and do always feel better when I can extend my care to my neighbours, friends and community that I’m connected to, especially when we share values AND even when we don’t as we all share the fact that we are humans and have these basic inherent needs.

Self- care through receiving a pedicure or facial is great and not to be discouraged, though keeping in mind the example of single mama again, some of us may need much more or something totally different to feel ‘cared’ for.

Interpersonal acts of care are hugely important for marginalised and struggling people. If you don’t know what someone in need, actually needs, just ask them and never assume you know..

Hopefully moving forward in this strange decade of systems collapsing where “normal” is clearly not returning to, one of the new models we can all start to" “build back better” with - despite where we sit on the spectrum of supply, demand - needs and resources- is one rooted in Community Care.

You are not alone in your struggle to make ends meet, your struggle with mental health and your struggle to stay sane in a mentally insane global system. We ARE all in this together and should start acting like it. Power to the People Indeed..

Please do share your thoughts, ideas and community building ways that are working for you!

Much love xx