IN VS OUT; Why The True Path to Healing is Always an IN-ward Journey
On my long journey into healing I went down many dead ends, ended up in the hands of many gaslighting, spiritually bypassing pros, charlatans of every colour in the rainbow world of wellness, often ignoring my INtuition and better judgement, that’s always INherent, INternal and INtrinsic.
Notice how all those qualities begin with IN- which took me close to two decades of looking OUTside of myself and trusting all the above until I realised all the answers and solutions are actually with-IN me.. The hero’s journey - as I know now- is always the journey back home to yourself.
One of my best teachers was my first one - Monica - who I never actually understood at the time, though I find myself echoing her words in similar ways to my own students’ -
“I’m not your guru, you are your own guru..” Which may not sound empowering or of any use to someone who is lost and needs some help or direction. I’m happy to be a guide on the side though ultimately if I give you all the answers or ‘help’ you in overt or covert ways, then I know I am taking away your own autonomy and sovereignty. This is not the role I want to be in, though too many yogis - are happy to take this on- spiritual materialism is the correct term, or good old fashioned Ego looms its ugly head again.
Going back to going INward, which was certainly one of the hardest things to do in my life, as it demands that you STOP running around and looking for answers and that red pill solution OUTside. Most people - including myself- will do absolutely anything to distract, deflect or derail their journey inward as it’s the hardest one of all. But ultimately the true journey home and into healing.
What I’ve found and KNOW to work are the following practices:
YIN YOGA
This is a deceptively simple but hard practice. The poses are mostly floor based and held between 3-5 minutes to allow the passive stretch to reach deep into our connective tissue and fascia for the best releases and relief you will find while being in your own skIN. There’s a saying “The Issues are in our Tissues”, which is terribly true, as while we remember, process and run around our stories over and over in our minds, the actual memories of pain and trauma LIVE in different parts of the body. Practices like Yin allow for presence and release of these issues and memories. I also like to centre 3 Sister qualities of Slow - being Softness, Stillness and Silence. Qualities that the yang or masculine world discount as unimportant or weakness. In my humble opinion, this decade we are already reclaiming those important qualities within and of course outside ourselves.
JOURNALING
Long have I been a fan of pen to paper as way OUT for my INner babble that didn’t get nearly enough airtime, especially when I was Mute Mary in kindergarten and early school years. Study after study shows that journaling as a daily or regular practice gives us clarity of mind, reduces anxiety, lessens worries and makes us better and more fluid with our creativity. The classic self-help book for blocked creatives The Artists Way - makes you form a daily habit of writing 3 full pages of Stream of Consciousness “thought” first thing in the morning. Thousands of people have given testimonials crediting this technique as the biggest tool to help unblock their creative selves. Not just for writers, as all forms of creative expression flows OUT after utilising this INward practice.
Why? Because the mind is like a sewage pipe; it takes in so much rubbish on a daily basis - now more than ever with social media - so to empty it out with 3 pages of uncensored free flowing writing is deeply cleansing and useful for creative expression. Which is ultimately life force being free to flow..
DREAMWORK
For as along as I’ve remembered I have remembered my dreams, my mother would actively encourage us to talk about and recall our dreams and she’d interpret them. Most Egyptians are well into dreams and see them as prophetic, with their signs and symbols being interpreted and points of discussion with aunties and cousins.
Thankfully, these practices - common in Aboriginal Dreamtime and most Indigenous cultures- Westerners are finally catching up on- and paying deeper attention to their dreams. With the proliferation of lucid dream and OBE courses out there. Remembering your dreams is possible and is very necessary in accessing your IN-ner world of your subconscious and often the collective unconscious also.
Learning to wake up slowly; hold an image or dream symbol in your minds eye to recall a dream thread then record what you see, WILL train your brain to start to remember that the sleeping state and dreams are important to remember. I get some dreams - at least twice a month as full downloads like a movie that answers deep questions or clears confusion I may have had about a person or situation. Very very powerful practice that has brought powerful IN-sights.
In the same vein as learning to remember your dreams is to sleep consciously which is what Yoga Nidra - a practice I use daily and teach = which returns awareness home to your body. With practice this causes deep presence, awareness and an understanding if your IN-ner landscape, of you subconscious.
Often times I may find myself dropping back into a dream, from a meditation or writing a sentence from free flow state in my journal, as ultimately these are all practices back IN towards the subconscious and unconscious minds. The space becomes quite familiar, liminal and known - in time.
The journey INward is the most rewarding and revitalising journey of healing and accesing life-force.
While it may be difficult to return to our repressed memories, recalling possible painful childhood memories and our original “core wounds” ultimately healing happens when we bring the darkness to light. The journey doesn’t have to happen alone, seeking a somatic therapist, bodyworker or kinesiologist will help, as body-mind practices work the best- from my experience.
Please do share any experiences or practices that have helped you return INwards..
Much love, M x