ANCESTORS; WHY THEY ARE IMPORTANT + 3 EASY WAYS TO CONNECT
In the past year or so I have been trying hard to connect with my ancestors, a concept I had no interest in until it was thrust upon me in the first month of our 6-month course through VOW Sisterhood. A whole month of practices - meditations into our temple to journey down into history and meet whoever came through. No -one came through until the last week when I was asking to meet my dads' parents. I did indeed meet my grandad - dressed in a soldier outfit and looking exactly like my Uncle Dieter, he slowly and deliberately washed his face and walked over to me, speaking telepathically to me while intently holding my gaze, he said " I joined the army to feel a sense of belonging, that's all I wanted.." I cried at this contact and the hardness and heaviness around my heart melted as the theme of belonging was one I understood deeply from my own life. From that day on my grandfather was re-humanised in my heart and mind; feeling love and compassion for him. From that day on I was hooked on getting to know these abandoned ancestors of mine.
However, my own mental resistance to my family story on both sides- the deep childhood wound of abandonment and other traumas I've spent my life trying to heal from, overshadowed me regularly. Having both my parents deceased and now safely tucked away as 'ancestors'; I never really cared to look back beyond them into our lineage or history, to delve deeper into knowing my roots, as every story I discovered through my relatives further deepened the pain and often re-traumatised me. So over my 30 years of unraveling, unlearning and getting as far as humanly possible away from my family ( fierce independence is a trauma response after all!) I now find myself living in my mother's land and embracing wisdom from both sides of history.
As is often mentioned across History - How do we know where we are going if we don't know where we have come from?
So, I knew enough about my uprooted childhood to know that I didn't want to know anymore. But very recently, on this Wellness weekend in Dahab, surrounded by the most amazing insightful lightworkers, healers and guides; every session I had through various healing modalities; seemed to return the same learnings and message; “Your ancestors are present and patiently waiting for you to be open to them”.
“I thought I was!” was my response after the first session, though by the 6th channeling through a fellow Slavic sister, I got the slap in the face that I need to overcome this internal conflict with being mixed race -conflicting German and Egyptian heritage- I must stop feeling that I need to choose which side is more sacred, more me and just BE. She then went on to tell me to forget my relatives and the painful stories that come with them as they were just unconscious messengers, take the lessons and leave the stories.
In this particular guided journey - My great great grandmother - on my father's side - had met me in the woods walking slowly towards me with a basket, that should have been carrying my gift. Turns out the basket was empty, which symbolised how I'd been feeling my whole life in relation to family. Initially, I was sad that her basket was empty- as I’d often been forgotten through childhood - however learning from this journey I now see that I've been searching globally externally to find what has always been inside of me. Turns out the true gift was me; my body, mind and spirit - as is.
What I’ve now learned is our Ancestors - being long dead- are above and beyond the stories - far away from the narratives that we get stuck on, that traumatise and re-traumatise us over the span of our lives. They deeply desire for us to live our life on purpose - to zoom out of our mouse-like existence and be the eagles that we actually are. To make changes, to disrupt the pattern and finally overcome the familial wound that they were unable to as they just weren't as resourced as we are. To live freely, unbound and on purpose.
I wish I understood this long ago; that my relatives both living and dead had their own experiences, learnings and stories that they needed to go through as part of their soul journey. People can only ever do their best with the information that they had at the time. However seemingly hurtful or neglectful those decisions and stories were upon my own life; I simply need to REview - to take the learnings - not RElive as this keeps me stuck in the charged cycle of emotions that the story brings about.
3 EASY WAYS TO CONNECT TO YOUR ANCESTORS
1. Develop a Daily Sacred Ritual: Many cultures believe that our ancestors appreciate having an offering made to them. In some cultures, this may mean offering fruits, chocolate or other food or drink. Creating an altar for meditation is an easy and important ritual to start with, placing their photos and candles that you light when you wish to connect. Or you could simply dedicate a candle to your ancestors that are lit only on their birth and death dates or other special occasions. Also, placing any jewelry or important personal items left behind by them on the altar.
2. Communication through Dreams + Intuition: As you light the ancestor candle or offer food/drink to your loved ones, begin to communicate with them. You may pray to them or simply have a conversation with them. Then, you must be open to their messages back to you, which often come through dreams, synchronicity, numerology, intuition, or deep meditations. The key with this is to keep asking the same questions for guidance and eventually through dreams, waking up slowly to remember them there will be symbols, fleeting thoughts and/or imagery that will give you the solution you need. Be open and consistent.
3. Work with Your Ancestors on a Problem seeking Guidance: If you are after guidance or advice from an ancestor or loved one, it is helpful to write down the scenario and the question that you need help with. Hold the piece of paper in your hand, meditate on the issue and then ask for your loved one to provide assistance. Continue to do this practice daily until you receive your guidance or insights. (Of course, you need to be aware. Pay attention to anything that’s out of the ordinary and perhaps keep a journal of your dialogue with them, this shows you over the months and years how strong the bonds are and how they continue to be strengthened with your attention)
Ultimately I now know that my Ancestors and Relatives - while connected - are also very different. With the wisdom and release of 3D reality that comes with death, there is always insight, integration and inner healing. My ancestors have healed and are calling for me to do the same in this waking life. I've finally let go of the painful stories of my heritage, of both my dad's parents and my mum’s parents - so am able to start living - at the humble age of 40 - the life I came here for.
Watch this space. My Ancestors have got my back and don’t I know this now in an entirely embodied way!