OCCUPY THE SPACE BETWEEN
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Viktor E. Frankl
This is one of my favourite quotes of all time; one that I constantly come back to as the truth of it resonates in my bones, and I can feel myself expanding when I allow myself to float freely in that space between; the quiet pause.
In that pause, those rarely visible spaces between 2 types of form, concepts or realities there's always freedom and fear. Though most of us don't feel the freedom as we get dissuaded by the fear, which in actuality is a deep Fear of the Unknown.
When we find ourselves in the space between two realities, we are often faced with 2 choices, Do Nothing and Surrender or Do Something, which tends to be reactive and for the sake of being practical and productive. Out of comfort we often go back to those habitual 'doing' behaviours and actions that keep us moving, but chasing our tails, which inevitably leads to breakdown.
Reminds me of another favourite quote “To do the same thing over, expecting a different result is the meaning of insanity.”
So eventually, inevitably you have to SURRENDER To the Unknown.
The space between and how much we allow ourselves to surrender into that space, is easier with practice, like anything.
It requires courage, deep listening and feeling, allowing ourselves to be free floating in the formless so that we can recalibrate and alchemise through to the other side.
On an individual level, this quiet pause or the space between is rarely considered as we live in a loop of stimuli-reaction-stimuli-reaction, on and on, keeping our nervous systems stressed in overdrive until we are literally forced to pause; often in bed to recover from an illness that's come from neglect of our wellness; an accumulation of ignorance of all those quiet pauses.
This culture of keep calm and carry on at full throttle is now not acceptable for many, as Covid-19 brought into sharp focus that the fast furious path we were all on, leads to delusion and debilitation.
Global Reset through the Global Pause.
These are times of decay, of shedding and endings, of unlearning and undoing. This is not a time of rising and growth. It is not a time of confidence and stability. No. We are hunkering down. Down being the operative word. Down and out of our preconceived ideas of right and wrong, old and new. I feel it to be like being down in tunnel of the Unknown, where everything is darkness, all certainties are suspended and anything is possible.
Like the catharsis of the caterpillar in the cocoon before emerging in its full glory as Butterfly.
Not enough is discussed or embraced about the downward action into the great unknown; the space between is very unfamiliar. Western humans - myself included- are obsessed with planning and direction, ours is an upwards and outwards culture.
But what happens when life -and our plans are derailed and disrupted? When the whole planet plan is disrupted and derailed - as 2020 has done to us- where globally we're forced down into the tunnel of the Unknown?
I can only speculate from my own microcosmic experience as a human who's lived down in the Space Between what is required of us collectively and individually..
To make any sense of this unknown space, we must become fluent in the language and ways of the heart. We need to develop a new skillset, new ways of seeing and feeling as we descend further into the collective unknown.
Back in mid-July in the UK, there were premature positive soundbites from our lost leaders about Building Back Better. Building resilience and transforming into the new you. In the wellness world we call this Spiritual Bypassing or Gaslighting.
As in reality; any new lasting change cannot be achieved without acknowledging and processing all the pain behind us. And for a lot of us, a huge part of processing must include GRIEVING. We must allow ourselves to grieve all the losses that have occurred since March. So many of us have lost jobs, incomes, family, friends and relationships that we thought were much more permanent. We must make time for Grief, or the shadows of Grief will consume us.
Wrap yourself into the cocoon of this unknown space between, allow yourself to shed, let go, to grieve our losses consciously; collectively and individually; as without this process, without the conscious acknowledging of how over there - March 2020 - you were very different to how you are right here -September 2020- chaos will be where we live.
Reframe and tell yourself a new story about The Space Between Realities and the Unknown.
Do what you need to do to just feel all the feels; cry, shake, scream, run, box, sleep more, be in nature daily, talk to a therapist, get bodywork, get creative with something that you know serves your soul. All this helps YOU to OCCUPY the space between, and to really own and embody the grief and loss that you have been through, which in turn helps us all to collectively move through the grief.
After all, a caterpillar would never dream of rushing the cocoon process into butterfly-ness. That would be unheard of. Work with nature rather than against it as you go down, into and through your own cocoon.
Like the caterpillar, you will eventually re-emerge through this cathartic process transformed. Even if right now, the light at the end of the tunnel is just a dreamy mirage...