THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS
We all hear about the power of forgiveness and how incredibly healing it feels to do so.
In theory it sounds way easier than it actually is in practice. As it requires complete relinquishing of control and expectation of the forgivee's response to our huge and generous act of kindness of forgiving their transgressions and releasing them. Though the real power actually comes from and for us, when we forgive we heal and release ourselves from their clutches..
Teaching yoga I often talk about the heart chakra, dropping from head to heart and allowing ourselves to move, operate and live from the space of feeling, compassion and eventually unconditional love. Easy enough to do if you’re not holding grievances in your heart, though most people who are, report that moving from the heart is the hardest part of the practice, often elusive for many.
I do now know how hard this is for most people, especially Westerners who are taught that the mind is king and everything else is secondary. It can take years to learn to let go, enough to forgive and release someone. For a lot of people, this may not happen in this lifetime.
To demonstrate the power of forgiveness, I'll share a deeply personal story about my father.
Back in 2012, when I had been living in Dahab, South Sinai at the time, I felt super connected to the land, the sunshine, the desert especially and the Sinai mountains were such a blessing to have on my doorstep. Dahab is a little coastal village anyway, but can get overbearing sometimes as I felt like I knew everyone, so I would go to the next tinier town up called Nuweiba and chill for a couple of days completely on my own except for interaction with Camp owner to order meals and that sweet strong Bedouin tea, an essential even in the heat!
It was on one of those Nuweiba visits that I wrote a long heartfelt letter to my Father. Definitely hadn't realised at the time that it was going to be a letter of Forgiveness.
I wrote giving him full details about my new life in Sinai, my days spent teaching yoga, running a mobile outdoor cinema with a musician friend and making juices at the Friday markets. I wrote how much I missed him and my brother and no longer wished to change him or Peter. How despite wanting to for so many years want them both to break away from their negative behaviours, habits and addictions how I was truly blessed to know that while the world outside was changing at ever increasing speeds around us, I knew that I could return to No 37 and find great comfort in knowing that both he and my brother were still doing the same thing. Living that predictable Groundhog day merry-go-round that had driven be mad.
I also wrote that I truly loved him just as he was, didn't want or need him to change one little bit.
I blessed him and forgave him in that letter for all his many wrong doings - from childhood til now- and felt so at peace at the end of that cathartic letter.
Within one month of my sending the letter off, I received news from Sydney that he had died. It shattered me, but was wholly unsurprising as I knew in my heart of hearts that he had been calling out to me, and that letter was my response.
Grace pulled me out of current reality at that time to escape and write him that letter of forgiveness and release. That's all he had wanted from me before he died. To receive my blessing and forgiveness before he slipped out like a thief in the night the way my dad always operated; on his own time and with his own permission.
Sure I was devastated but when the dust settled after the funeral and I had returned to Sinai, I could clearly see the chain of events that followed and what the act of Forgiveness had done for my father,.
The power of forgiveness is very real and has enough energy behind it to truly transform your heart, mind and world.
So if there is someone in your life that you once held dear and has wronged you in ways that are just Unforgivable; Please remember this:
People are always only ever doing their best with the level of knowledge and awareness they have at the time.
If they have hurt you, it likely wasn't intentional and even if it was they are likely Hurting way more than you even know.
Forgive and build bridges as one day they will pass and you may not have the chance to say what you wanted to say and that is a much deeper wound to heal from.
Remember Forgiveness Frees You!